Workin' At The Car Wash
by IStillBelieve
Summary: Tony overhears a very interesting 'boy's night out' chat. Language and some wet and soapy fantasies. Disclaimer: i own nothing, I seek nothing.


"A car wash? Really, Gibbs? Isn't that a little cliche?"

DiNozzo froze at the top of the stairs to his boss's basement. He had stopped by for a booze and bitch session, a Friday night routine that wasn't regular but was fast becoming a habit, especially after a particularly crappy case. He would sit on the steps or lean against the door frame and drink and chat as Gibbs worked on his boat du jour; they would bitch about stupid perps or annoying new edicts from above or clueless civilian cops or whatever the frustration of the week had been. They would get pleasantly buzzed at times, occasionally enough for him to sleep on Gibbs' couch. There was never an invitation or a refusal, or even a discussion, it just happened. It was a great way to unwind, and his best opportunity to spend time with Gibbs outside work. He was happy for any opportunity to indulge in a Gibbs fix and a little balm for his unrequited crush on his boss.

On this particular Friday just before he hit the stairs he heard voices, and stopped in his tracks. He didn't want to intrude on Gibbs' real social life for a bull session, so he stood for a moment to try to ID the voices and ascertain if he was intruding.

"Cliches are cliches for a reason, ya know?" he heard Gibbs say.

"Actually, Tobias, Jethro is quite right", he heard Ducky's familiar accent. And 'Tobias' was obviously Fornell - so, boys night, then? "Cliches become cliches because they are popular. So watching the scantily clad object of one's desire wash a car, all wet and sudsy - it may be cliche but for a definite reason." Tony grinned. Yep, this was boys' night, alright - comparing sex fantasies over a bottle of bourbon. He leaned against the wall at the top of the stairs - he would listen in for a few minutes, wait till it got really interesting, then pop in - he would love to hear what these guys thought was hot. Or who - he couldn't wait to hear which redhead Gibbs' imagined soapy and wet. The jealousy he felt would be worth a peek into his boss's mind.

"Okay, Gibbs, let's hear it," said a new voice - was that Vance? Wow, this was a high-level party. He couldn't help but feel a little wounded not to be included. If he heard McGee's voice he would be so pissed."You're up."

"I'm seeing cut off shorts - too short for public consumption, all frayed and torn - you know how jeans get when they're really worn out, when the denim is almost white and so soft, and just hugs that perfect ass?"  
"And that is one perfect ass", Fornell interrupted. Interesting - so Fornell knew Gibbs' fantasy woman.  
"Watch it, Fornell," said Vance. "You know how possessive he gets." Hmmm - so was Gibbs dating someone that they knew about and he didn't?  
Gibbs continued. "But it is perfect, ya gotta admit...so round and firm and delicious...imagine it bent over the hood of a car, stretching and reaching...god damn." Gibbs paused, and Tony swallowed at the lust in his voice. He had never heard Gibbs like this; he loved his voice anyway, especially when he came up behind him and said something quiet and he was all low and throaty, but this...damn. "Would love to just come up from behind and - "  
"Shirt?" asked Fornell.  
"Nah...or maybe...maybe a thin white tee shirt, soaking wet, clingy and thin."  
"Yep," Vance chimed in. "I can see that."  
Fornell spoke up."Oh yeah...I mean have you SEEN his chest?"  
Wait. WHAT? Tony's mouth went completely dry. HIS? HIS chest? What the fuck?  
Gibbs said "What I want to know is why YOU have seen his chest, Fornell?" HIS? Whoever this 'he' was Vance was right - Gibbs was definitely possessive. HE? His world was turning upside down and inside out with one little pronoun.  
"In the gym, Jethro, calm down. I'm not poaching."  
"You would love to, though," Gibbs said tightly.  
"Oh hell yes I would. Have YOU seen his chest?"  
Gibbs replied snarkily "He's on my team, dumbass. Of course I have."  
Tony felt his heart leap into his throat. Thank god he was leaning against the door frame. There were only two 'he's' on Gibbs team. Two.  
"And that dear boy gets hurt so often half of DC has seen him shirtless", Ducky said dryly. That would have to be him - McGee never got injured, well, hardly ever. "Of course as their doctor I have seen them both sans shirts, admittedly."  
"Lucky Duck", Fornell growled. Gibbs snorted.  
Tony felt like he couldn't breathe...was it him? Please dear god let it be him that fueled Gibbs' fantasies. He had never wanted to be the object of someone's wet dreams so much in his entire life.  
"And of course you get to see as much of your boy toy as you like," said Fornell.

"I'm not sure Mr. Palmer would appreciate being called my 'boy toy'" said Ducky mildly. "Although he might, come to think of it." Ducky and the Autopsy Gremlin? Of course! That made perfect sense! And was really sweet, when he thought about it.

"That's been going on awhile, hasn't it, Duck?" asked Vance. So Vance knew, and was cool about it? Hmmmm.

"Over two years now", said Dr. Mallard. "Because I had the wherewithal to do something about my crush", he said pointedly. "Unlike some others I could mention."

"Two years? Wow, that's more than a slap-and-tickle", said Fornell. "That's a real relationship."

Gibbs spoke up. "And that's why I've never done anything about my - crush. He could never see it as more than just a 'fuck-buddy' thing, if he could see it all, and it could never be that for me - not with him."

"Why couldn't he see it?" asked Fornell. "You and I both know the DiNozzo conquest list is as likely to include a John as a Jane."  
Tony's breath whooshed out, and he prayed no one heard. So his little secret wasn't such a secret after all...how the hell did they know?

"Come on," Gibbs said. "He's fuckin' gorgeous, I'm his boss and I'm an old worn out marine. He has his pick, male and female, at every bar in the city."  
Ahhhh...the bars? Someone had seen him at a less-than-straight bar, and it had gotten back to Gibbs. And wait - Gibbs thought he was gorgeous? Suddenly his True Religion jeans were at least one entire size too tight.

"Does he know that you know that he bats for both teams?" asked Vance.  
This was oddly exciting and disturbing at the same time, listening to these men discuss his sexual preferences and secrets so openly, much more openly than he had ever done.

"Nah", said Gibbs. "I've known since the beginning, some of the asshats in Baltimore thought it would scare me away from poaching him for my team. Of course it didn't. But he's so private about it, I never wanted to embarrass him or out him. It's his secret, not mine."

"You really do care about him, Jethro?" said Ducky.

"Yup."

"Not just a hot fuck over your desk, then?" asked Fornell.

"Nope. Although..." They all laughed at that.

Vance said "Oh, thanks. Now I have that image to deal with...DiNozzo bent over your desk, pants down just far enough to expose that ass...shit".

"Welcome to MY life", Gibbs growled, and they laughed again.

"So when are you gonna do something about it?" asked Fornell.

"About the same time you let McGee know you want to investigate his hard drive," snorted Gibbs.

Fornell had the hots for Probie? Tony wiped his hand across his face. Was he even awake?  
"That's different - I'm not in love with McGee," Fornell fired back.

"I'm not - it's not like that, I'm not - fuck," Gibbs sighed.

"Can't even say it, can you, Gibbs?" asked Vance. "Hell, we all knew before you admitted it, the last time he got shot, I think it was? And he follows you around like a lost puppy. I think you would - "

"NO," Gibbs said firmly. "Not gonna happen, Leon. Don't you think if I just wanted a blow job or a down-and-dirty fuck I would have done something a long time ago? I don't think he would turn me down - "

Fornell snorted. "You mean you know there is no way in hell he would turn that down. He'd be on his knees for you in two seconds." Tony felt his face grow hot, but he wasn't sure if it was from the knowledge that he would, or more that they knew he would.

"And that's a beautiful image," said Ducky. "He'd drop for you in a heartbeat." Ducky's use of the word drop caught him off guard - did he just mean drop to his knees, or did he mean drop, as in 'drop'? Did they know that, too? This just got worse and worse.

"I know, Duck", Gibbs voice sounded soft and almost sad. "But this could never just be about sex for me, and it wouldn't be fair to pretend to him that it was."

"So that's it, then?" asked Vance. "Ten years of wet dreams and you're still spineless where that boy is concerned?" he sighed. "You disappoint me, Jethro. I had always hoped you would man up and claim that young man the way he craves to be claimed."

"Hard and fast over your desk", snorted Fornell. "That's what that one craves."

"And you know, my boy, if you never give him a chance he will keep looking for what he - craves, as it were, in other places," Ducky said gently. "If you don't make him yours someone else will."

"Hell, I might even - " Fornell started.

"Don't fucking think about it, Tobias", Gibbs growled, and Tony was achingly, poundingly hard at the possessiveness in his voice. Fornell snorted.

"And THAT'S what I'm talking about", said Vance. "Do you want to wander into a club one night and see him kneeling at someone else's feet, see another man's hand on that sweet ass, another man's collar around that gorgeous throat? No, you don't. We all know that."  
Ahhhh fuck. So they did know everything, it seems.

"It would break me", said Gibbs quietly. "You know that. But I can't risk it. If he's not - I mean, if he didn't want this, I could blow everything - friendship, work, my career, HIS career - everything. Not gonna happen. I can't."  
The ache and the sorrow in Gibbs voice was so different than the sexy, dirty voice he had heard just moments earlier, and it killed him to hear. He was the cause of this - him, Tony DiNozzo, was causing his boss to hurt like this. Not gonna let that go. He could make this right - he could take away that sadness, offer himself as the sacrifice here, and let Gibbs be the strong one. He could do that.  
Tony crept back to the front door, then opened and closed it much louder than usual, loud enough to be heard downstairs. He called out "Hey Boss! You down there?" and clattered down the stairs carrying a six pack. He acted surprised to see the four men sitting casually around the basement.

"Hey, DiNozzo - come on down - oh, wait...you just did", said Gibbs drily. If Tony had not heard the previous conversation, the little look that shot between Gibbs and Vance would have meant nothing.

Fornell spoke up. "No date, DoNotzo? It is Friday, right?" Tony looked at him differently now that he knew about his crush on McGeek.

"Nah, not tonight. I've been hanging out with the Boss on Fridays lately, boys night, ya know? But if I am interrupting - "

"Nonsense", said Ducky. "Join us?"

"Actually I just stopped by to ask you a favor, Boss."

Gibbs eyes narrowed. "What kind of favor, DiNozzo? And is it legal?" Fornell chuckled.

"Perfectly. You know I don't really have a driveway at my apartment, just a parking garage, and I was wondering - " he swallowed hard, took a step or two closer to Gibbs, and let his voice become warmer and huskier, as he looked his boss straight in his beautiful blue eyes "- if I might come over tomorrow afternoon and - wash my car?"


End file.
